Resistance into Action - Ignite Possibilities

Ditch the
I. Don’t. Wannas

It’s completely normal. You find yourself in a rut, in the negative mindset of resistance and the inner toddler (or grumpy elder) comes out in you. The “I Don’t Wannas” start to emerge, and you dig your feet into the ground in resistance.

This sends your nervous system into overdrive. Your heart starts beating, your face flushes, you may clench your jaw or tighten your forearms, your mind starts spinning with lots and lots of extra thoughts. With all of that going on simultaneously, you have come to the decision that you simply don’t want to.

But why? Why don’t you want to?

So, when you find that inner fight building, and it’s creeping in stronger starting to take root: First take a pausing breath, and then ask yourself these questions:

What am I actually feeling?
Who am I fighting against (self, others?)
Am I H.A.L.T (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)?
What are three outside reasons for my fight (weather, time, travel)?
What’s my motive for my current resistance (control, passivity, procrastination)?

Normally, when I run through these types of questions I find that my resistance is stemming from:

Being afraid/fearful of something
Needing to reevaluate where I’m spending time and energy
Wanting something different, and not knowing how to express it

So, curb the “I Don’t Wannas” and turn it into:

I’m choosing to/not to because…..

And sometimes, I can curb the resistance by simply drinking a glass of water.

And eating cookies. Cookies always seem to help, too.

Gottman Institute Feeling Wheel

I love and reference the Gottman Institute Feeling Wheel frequently, which is below. It’s a fantastic tool to expand your feeling language base, and dive a little deeper.